I was born and raised in Birmingham, UK. My parents are second generation immigrants from South Asia, and I am the third of seven children.

I grew up in a Religious household and a very traditional community. When I was growing up, the women in my family did not have equal rights or privileges to men, and had to follow strict social and moral codes.

From a very young age, I had a lot of pressure put on me, to conform to religious and cultural expectations; such as getting married and having children, following religious teachings and obeying my parents and elders.

I was never encouraged to have thoughts or opinions of my own, nor could I speak for myself, instead my parents always spoke for me.

My mum and dad were very controlling, and were always putting me down and comparing me to others. I would always worry what everyone thought of me, and began from a young age to learn how to please everyone, as I was desperate to belong, to be liked and accepted.

As a result of this, I always felt I was living two lives; very outgoing friendly and confident on the outside and on the inside, hiding very low self-esteem. This low self esteem also continued into my adult life, where I looked for work that involved helping people who had social and emotional issues.

Through my work, I felt a sense of purpose, like I was doing good and making a difference. What I can now see, is that I was playing the saviour-to feel good about myself, boost my ego and increase my self esteem.

This went deeper as I became more determined to develop my career in Health and Social Care. The more ‘qualified’ I became, the more status, power and control I had over people’s lives.
This need to control others, extended into my personal and family life, where I began to lecture and advise family members and romantic partners on how they should think act and feel.

It wasn’t until I was initiated into Reiki with Esoteric knowledge, that I realised how much I had been crossing people’s boundaries through this behaviour and acting with a lot of judgment and superiority, all to keep my extremely low self esteem hidden, even from myself.

Another behaviour that accompanied this low self esteem was a very strong victim pattern. This was also perfected from childhood, when I would feel bitterness and resentment towards my sisters for finding the things I struggled with easy, or jealousy when my parents gave my younger brothers all their time and attention.

I believed that I was always being wronged and treated badly by others, when all I felt I was trying to do, was be caring and understanding. I can see now how this was self deception-and that I was just telling myself stories, as an excuse not to work harder or take responsibility for my life.

Because I was not taking responsibility for myself, I relied heavily on others for support, comfort and validation. I did not take the time to learn or do things for myself, instead seeking out friendships and relationships that were co-dependent. I had many failed relationships and could not see how little respect I had for myself and other people.

All of these realisations have come to my consciousness through my practice of Reiki, and through the Essenian and Pleiadian healings I have been able to receive. I now understand that all that has been, had to be; it was my karma, to experience and learn from and bring back into balance the things I had inflicted on people in other lives.

Since being initiated as a Reiki Master, and by taking the step to begin training in the Essenian healings, and be initiated as Essenian Master, with my teacher Lisa Lux, I have been supported to confront these Karma patterns, and many others, and consciously take steps to do things differently.
This has been a daily process; often moment to moment, going inside myself, connecting with my heart, and taking the decision to think and feel, in a way that better serves myself and others.

One of the biggest lessons has been to let go of trying to control everyone and everything. I have had to stop judging and manipulating situations to get things to be the way I feel they should be, and instead let others take responsibility for their own lives and Karma lessons they have chosen for themselves.

Another one of the patterns Lisa has helped me to confront, is how disconnected I am from my own emotions and feelings and the feelings of others. I have often felt like a robot; cold and very clinical and mental about everything.

I had grown up in a busy household with a big family, work in job dedicated to caring, and lived in a large housing cooperative in London. And yet I kept myself closed and distant from everyone, hiding behind humour and pleasant words, just trying to get through each day.

Receiving an Essenian Disharmony Healing and regularly receiving Pleiadian healings, has helped me to slowly connect with others again; to begin to spend time with housemates and with my family again-this time as equals; not trying to feel superior or feeling inferior to them.

I have also had to learn to go back to the very basics of self care and learn what it means to love myself. Before Reiki, Essenian and Pleiadian healings, ‘loving myself’ was another token phrase I would use repeatedly without knowing what it meant. Now I can see it is daily practice, of consciously working on how I treat myself; not putting myself down or beating myself up for making mistakes, but being honest when I find things challenging and just try to do the best I can.

Being initiated into Reiki, has been a beautiful gift, and has changed how I feel about my relationship to myself, other people and all living beings. And now taking the step to begin training and working with the Essenian healings, has deepened my wish to connect more to my heart.

Another wonderful gift that has been given to me with the Essenian healing work, has been meeting my appointed Essenian guide. When we were introduced through the Guide Encounter by Lisa Lux, and I allowed myself to open up, I felt an instant connection and recognition. His reassuring presence was something I remembered from my childhood, and I feel now that he has been with me all my life.

With his guidance, and the guidance of Lisa, I hope to continue on this healing path, so I can serve as a pure channel for these healings, and help others to also make the true, lasting change in they wish to in their lives.